Test driving Sex...

Former Australian Rugby League player Jason Stevens (now a Presenter, Speaker and Author), recently married his wife after vowing to stay celibate until he was married.
The following is a reply of his to a question about waiting until marriage to have sex.

What would you do if it turned out your future wife was a shocker in bed?

I believe that a good sex life that lasts only comes out of a great relationship based on love, respect and trust.
When these things are in place in a relationship and both people have a good self esteem- the sex will be awesome.
People think you need to try before you buy, but I believe the worst lovers are the "experienced ones" because they come into a relationship with past memories of lovers, hurts from previous relationship - in other words baggage.
Sex isn't like buying a car, you don't need to test drive it!

To read many of his answers to similar questions, click HERE.

"Everyone is doing it"

Source = Chastity.com

How should I respond when people in my high school say, "Everyone is doing it?"

You could respond in any number of ways.
For one, you could ask the person, “If I can prove that the majority of high school students are virgins, will you be abstinent?”

The most authoritative research on the sexual activity rates of high school students is the Youth Risk Behavior Survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control. According to this nationwide survey of more than 150 high schools, only about a third of all students are currently sexually active.
Since 1991 teen sexual activity rates have been dropping, and now the majority of high school students are virgins.
In fact, between 1991 and 2005 the sexual activity rate of high school boys dropped twice as quickly as that of high school girls!

Among teens who have already lost their virginity, two-thirds of them wish they had waited longer to have sex (77 percent of girls and 60 percent of guys).

The trend toward chastity is well underway, even if you haven’t noticed it on your campus.
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy surveyed teens from around the country, asking them if it was embarrassing for teens to admit that they are virgins.
Surprisingly, 87 percent of teens said no, it’s not embarrassing.
Most of those who said it was embarrassing were under the age of fifteen.
Only 5 percent of older teens (fifteen to seventeen years of age) thought virginity was an embarrassing admission.

Despite the fact that these teens said virginity wasn’t something to be ashamed of, you don’t hear much about it because the sexually active students do all the talking.
For some reason chastity gossip just doesn’t seem to spread as quickly.
This gives the impression that “everyone is doing it,” when in reality the majority are not.

You could also point out that the “everyone” who is “doing it” is also getting STDs, that “everyone” is breaking up three weeks after they have sex, and “everyone” ends up getting divorced if they stay together long enough to get married.

You are in no rush to join any of these crowds.
We all have a fear of not being accepted or of being a loner if we do not conform to the world.
But you must hold out for the higher standard of love.

The bottom line is this:
What is your motivation?
Is it to please God or to conform to the world and make life-changing decisions based on the opinions of classmates, most of whom you will probably never see again after graduation?
Stay strong.
You are worth the wait.
Besides, the world needs to see young people who are not scared out of their minds to be chaste.
This is something to be proud of, and if enough people on your campus realize this and have the courage to stand up, I would bet the saying “everyone is doing it” may eventually refer to chastity.

Saying No!

Question from Chastity.com
Isn't it hard to say "no" all the time?

Answer:
As I see it, there are two ways to live and to love.
One sees temptations as obstacles to virtue, demanding a constant need to say “no!” in order to obey all God’s seemingly burdensome laws.
It is a life that is based upon “Thou shalt nots.”
Every day is an exhausting struggle to avoid offending God.
If we live like that, then it will be pretty hard to say no all the time.

Here is the alternative:
Instead of living life trying not to offend God, live life trying to glorify him.
Live each moment as an act of worship to God.
Instead of seeing temptations of lust as obstacles to holiness, see overcoming them as the very means to holiness.
Certainly this involves avoiding temptation and saying no to sin, but the motivation is the yes of true love.

As Mother Teresa said, “Intense love does not measure . . . it just gives.”
Or in the words of Pope John Paul II, a young heart feels “a desire for greater generosity, more commitment, greater love.
This desire for more is a characteristic of youth; a heart that is in love does not calculate, does not begrudge, it wants to give of itself without measure.”
“There is no place for selfishness—and no place for fear!
Do not be afraid, then, when love makes demands.
Do not be afraid when love requires sacrifice.”
“Real love is demanding.
I would fail in my mission if I did not tell you so.
Love demands a personal commitment to the will of God.”

Therefore, the virtue of purity is not first a no to illicit sex but a yes to authentic love.
It is not a prolonged series of noes but a continual yes to Jesus.
Since we receive more grace each time we say yes to God, we soon see how possible and joyful this life really is.
The Blessed Mother offers us the perfect example of how to live this, when in the Gospel of Luke she gives us the recipe for holiness: “Let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38).
The more we are able to imitate her yes, the more joy and peace we will find in our lives.
When asked how we could become saints, Mother Teresa replied: “Whenever Jesus asks something of you, say yes.”

Living the virtue of chastity now means that you cherish your future marriage (or religious vocation) more than passing pleasures.
It also prepares you to be a better wife or husband because you will learn how to express intimacy without always needing to be physical.

It has been said that when a couple has healthy intimacy, the closer the two become, the more they become themselves.

When a couple is experiencing unhealthy intimacy, they usually feel as if they are losing their identity.

The yes I have spoken of is possible with God, because the love of God has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit (Rom. 5:5).
Tap into that, and ask God for the grace to be pure.
Have confidence, because with God’s grace anyone can achieve sexual purity.

As you work toward the virtue of chastity, know that the desire to become pure is not something that comes from your body.
There is no chastity gland located near your spleen, secreting abstinence hormones.

Chastity arises from the will and is awakened and made possible by love.

Granted, there will always be a tension between the desire to please God and the desire to act on our impulses.
In the words of Christopher West, “Winning this battle takes faith in Christ, dedication, commitment, honesty with ourselves and others, and a willingness to make sacrifices and deny our own selfish desires. But love is not afraid of those things; love is those things.”

One practical note:
Take a look at what surrounds you.
If you constantly have to say no to various temptations, this implies that you end up in tempting situations on a regular basis.
There will always be temptations, but we should work to avoid the occasion of sin.
If you listen to music with sexually explicit lyrics, watch MTV, spend time in risqué chat room conversations, look through swimsuit or Cosmopolitan magazines and so forth, you are pouring lighter fluid on the fire that you are trying to extinguish.

As the Bible says, “Who will pity a snake charmer bitten by a serpent, or any who go near wild beasts? So no one will pity a man who associates with a sinner and becomes involved in his sins. . . . Flee from sin as from a snake; for if you approach sin, it will bite you” (Sir. 12:13–14; 21:2).

If there are bad influences in your life, replace them.
Find better music and decent books to read.
Also, increase your time in personal prayer, Scripture reading, and other devotions, and you will be surprised at how much easier chastity becomes.
Never forget that purity is a gift from God; you have to ask for it.

History of casual sex

Females with history of casual sex report most depressive symptoms






According to a study featured in the Journal of Sex Research, various studies have shown that a majority of adolescents first engage in sexual intercourse before they graduate from high school.
Furthermore, other studies have shown that 70% of college students report having had sexual intercourse with individuals they did not consider to be their romantic partner.

Casual sex is a sexual relationship in which the partners do not define the relationship as romantic or as their partner being their boyfriend or girlfriend.

These “relationships” are mainly based on sexual desires or physical attraction alone and commonly involve drugs or alcohol.

In this particular study, the researchers aimed to identify the factors and circumstances associated with those engaged in casual sex and sought to examine the link between casual sex and depressive symptoms.

Researchers used a sample of 404 undergraduate students who were enrolled in an introductory psychology course at a large university in the southeastern United States.
Each student completed a Sexual Behaviors Questionnaire which was designed by the researchers to investigate sexual behaviors in romantic relationships and it was modified for this study to also include sexual behaviors with casual partners. Through these questionnaires, the researchers found that casual sex was a fairly common occurrence among the participants in the study.

76% of the sample reported having engaged in intercourse, oral sex, or anal sex, and more than half (53%) of those who were sexually experienced reported having engaged in sex with a partner with whom they were not involved in a romantic relationship.

The majority of males and females who engaged in sex with a casual partner reported knowing that the encounter was casual and had no expectations other than a physical affair.

The researchers also focused on the link between casual sex and psychological functioning.
They found that for females, as the number of sexual partners increased, symptoms of depression also increased.
Female partners who had the greatest number of partners had the highest symptoms of depressive pathology.
The researchers noted that the association of casual sex and depressive symptoms in females is worthy of further investigation.

Article found HERE.

Question on Birth control

Question: Isn't using birth control better than having unwanted teen pregnancies and abortions?

Look at both these issues and judge for yourself if contraception is part of the solution or part of the problem.

Because of the widespread use of birth control, more people than ever have sex without intending to have children.
Sex out of wedlock has become far more common, and more sex means more babies.
Some argue that teaching people how to use contraceptives will alleviate the problem.
But research shows that “programs in safer sex education and condom distribution have not reduced the out-of-wedlock birth rates among sexually experienced teens. The fact is, increased condom use by teens is associated with increased out-of-wedlock birth rates.”

A few years ago in Colorado, one school began passing out condoms to the students. Within three years the birth rate rose 31 percent above the national average, and in one school year one hundred births were expected among the twelve hundred students. The administrators were described as “searching for explanations.”

When unwanted pregnancies occur, many turn to abortion as a solution.

In fact, studies show that about half of all unintended pregnancies end in abortion.
Some argue that increased use of contraception could have lowered these abortion rates.
However, the research institute of the nation’s largest abortion provider admits that most women who receive abortions had been using birth control during the month they became pregnant!

Such couples feel that the “fault” of the pregnancy can be blamed on the failed contraception, but by contracepting they have already set their wills against new life.

Since contraception treats pregnancy as if it were a disease, many people conclude that abortion must be the cure.

I once saw a condom advertisement that called pregnancy “the mother of all nightmares.”
With this mentality it is no surprise that the sex researcher Alfred Kinsey said, “At the risk of being repetitious, I would remind the group that we have found the highest frequency of induced abortion in the group which, in general, most frequently used contraceptives.”
Even a former medical director of Planned Parenthood admitted in 1973, “As people turn to contraception, there will be a rise, not a fall, in the abortion rate.”
Fifty million abortions later, no one can dispute his prediction.

Lastly, it should be noted that anyone who believes that contraception decreases abortions ignores the fact that hormonal birth control can cause abortions.
Click HERE for details on that.

Mother Teresa did not need to see the statistics.
She was well aware of the connection between contraception and abortion when she said in a speech in the presence of Bill and Hillary Clinton:

“The way to plan the family is Natural Family Planning, not contraception.
In destroying the power of giving life, through contraception, a husband or wife is doing something to self.
This turns the attention to self and so destroys the gift of love in him or her.
In loving, the husband and wife must turn the attention to each other.
Once that living love is destroyed by contraception, abortion follows very easily.”

This question was from Chastity.com.

It is Time for a Real Sexual ‘Counter-Revolution’

I figure now’s a good time for a radical discussion about sex.
We’ll never change the way we view abortion until we change our attitudes about sex. It’s time for a sexual counter-revolution.

The sanctity of human life from the moment of conception throughout all of life up to and including a natural death is the only foundation our society will ever be able to stand upon if we hope to flourish as a truly free people.
It’s quite obvious our foundation is crumbling.

To repair it, we must go back to square one and correct our ideas about sex.

Unless we give sexual intercourse its due reverence, we’ll never give human life its due reverence.
The two can never be separated.

If we don’t regard all life as sacred – and thus the creative act of sex—then we will always find ways to rationalize and justify the murder of a child as a “right.”

I’m not naively suggesting that prior to 1973 people were all living chaste and faithful lives and that sex was held in the highest esteem by all, to be expressed within the bond of marriage.
I am saying that the decision to legalize the killing of our preborn children cemented a poisonous shift in our mentality, and that poison has corroded every aspect of our society, especially our treatment of sex.
We replaced responsibility with “rights” and it’s been a downhill race toward insatiable debauchery ever since.

One criticism I hear often from people is that I and other Pro-Life folks ignore the real cause of abortions: unexpected/unwanted pregnancies.
What needs to be addressed, they say, is the “tragedy of unexpected and unwanted pregnancies.”
Do you see what I mean?
Pregnancy is a “tragedy” – not a miracle of life.

There’s that poisonous shift in our thinking.

The creation of a new human being is a tragedy if we didn’t expect it or want it. The tragedy isn’t the new life; it’s our self-centered, warped perspective.

There is a solution to the problem of nearly all unwanted and unexpected pregnancies, but it’s the only one that nobody wants to talk about or consider seriously.
The answer is so obvious, it just begs to be shouted out, but no one wants to do it because it’s the action that requires the most of us.
As soon as I say it, I’ll be laughed at and called an idealistic nincompoop (or worse).
I don’t care.
It might not be politically correct, but it must be said!

We all know exactly how babies are made so if you are unwilling to lovingly accept a child into your life, then don’t have sex! Period.

Sex isn’t a right; it’s a profound gift that serves a profound purpose.

It isn’t just a healthy, human activity; it’s also the ultimate expression of love and selflessness.
It’s not a recreational pastime with no strings attached.
Sex comes with some huge responsibilities, and if we’re not willing to accept ALL those responsibilities, we have no business having sex.
It’s that simple.

The tragedy isn’t that women are unexpectedly pregnant; it’s that people are selfishly indulging in sex and then refusing to accept the natural outcome.

Women do not simply “find themselves” pregnant, as though they had nothing to do with it.
It isn’t magic that happens without their involvement.
(In no way am I speaking here to women who are victims of violent assault. No woman chooses to be raped.)

Our real freedom and power lies in that very first choice: to have sex or not.

Why are women only free and empowered if they have the “right” to kill their babies? Are we not capable of using our brains and connecting the dots?
“If I choose to do this, here’s what will probably happen.
It’s my life and my choice, so I’d better make the wise choice.”

It seems to me that a woman who’s truly interested in preserving her choices will be smart and not put herself in a vulnerable position in the first place.
I never said it was easy – only that it was simple.
Our choices need to be made while we still have our clothes on.

Next comes the argument that not having sex is completely unrealistic and impossible, so we must have better birth control.
Here again is the poisonous shift in our thinking.
Birth control simply further engraves on our hearts the idea that pregnancy is a tragedy and babies are a burden to be avoided.
When unexpected/unwanted pregnancy occurs, it isn’t because our birth control has failed, it’s because our sense of morality and responsibility has failed.

The creation of new life should always be expected because that’s what sex is for!
That’s why even married couples are called to abstain when they have serious reasons for not conceiving a child.

And let’s stop buying Planned Parenthood’s talking points that say many women have abortions because they think they have no other choice. Baloney.
There are other choices, but they won’t be as convenient as killing the baby.
It’s in Planned Parenthood’s best interest to portray women as pitiable, helpless, forgotten sufferers without any recourse besides abortion, but it’s a lie.
Women need to stop wearing the victim mask and take responsibility for their life’s choices, the most important of which is whether or not to have sex.
Where is a woman’s personal accountability in all of this? Where is a man’s?

It goes without saying that society must step up and care for the needs of pregnant women and their babies, encouraging all mothers to choose life.
(I believe the Church works very hard to do that.)
It also goes without saying that men and women need to think about the consequences of their actions and be willing to accept responsibility, and responsibility does not equal abortion.

Is everyone expected to be "perfect", in the sense of never making a mistake or exercise bad judgment? Of course not.
I’m simply saying that when it comes to sex, we all know what happens!
Our lapses in judgment can never, ever justify killing preborn babies.
Once a new person enters the equation, the only choice that remains is LIFE.

We need to return to the knowledge that sex is sacred because life is sacred.

It’s time for a radical revolution of responsibility; a revolution of reverence for sex and reverence for life.
It is time for a sexual counter-revolution which liberates men and women, honors marriage and reaffirms the beauty and dignity of human love in the Divine Plan.

By Jennifer Hartline
9/16/2009
Read the article at: Catholic Online

Exactly how far is too far to go with a girl? Be specific.

Answer from Catholic Answers.



I'll give some specifics, but before I do, let's lay down a foundation. If we're asking how close to sin we can get girls, we're asking the wrong question. We need a change of heart. We need to start asking, "How close to God can I get her? How far can I go to lead this girl to holiness, and guard her innocence?" Until we have this transformation of our heart and will, it'll be difficult to determine where to set the physical boundaries in a relationship. Also, whenever we operate with the "how far is too far" mentality, where do we usually end up? More often than not, we end up going right up to that boundary, and inching it forward each time we visit it.

We need to remind ourselves that purity is not simply a matter of staying on one side of a line that we've drawn. It's a battle for our hearts and minds as well as our bodies. Just because a guy hasn't crossed a line, it doesn't mean that he's pure. It may mean that the he's never had the opportunity to cross it.

Anyway, here are a few guidelines for how you can know how far is too far. Whenever you are considering doing something with a girl, ask yourself if you would do that if Jesus were in the room. In our hearts, we all know what is pleasing to God. Also, consider how you would want a guy to treat your future daughter or future bride, and treat women accordingly. Let this sink in. Often, we get so involved in intense relationships that it's hard to sit back and really look into our hearts.

Some people assume, "So long as I'm being a virgin, I'm being good." They compare themselves with others who are sleeping around on a regular basis, and as long as they see the world from that perspective, they feel like they're right on track. Meanwhile, they give away bits of themselves in passing relationships, all under the pretense that their friends are worse.

Do yourself a favor: Don't get technical about drawing a line at virginity, and saying that all else goes. If you can't decide if a particular action is "too far," imagine what the look on your future bride or groom's face would be if you ever told her or him that you shared that act with another person. Make decisions now that would bless the heart of your future spouse, not wound it. (And do not be quick to discuss the specifics of your prior experience with potential spouses; a lot of that information could do far more harm than good.)

So where does the line go? For starters, know that the line begins in your mind. As soon as you begin to lust after a girl, stop. In regards to physical lines, an easy guideline to remember is, "Don't touch what you don't got." Also, I'd recommend no passionate kissing, kissing below the chin, or lying down together. That may seem extreme to some, but the more you become sensual and physical in a relationship, the more the relationship begins to revolve around that.

I'll admit that it's easy to see this as a litany of "no's" but think of it like this. There's a highway in California that runs up the coast. It's a gorgeous ride that takes you along the side of a sheer cliff that drops hundreds of feet to the ocean. Imagine that you were cruising along in your priceless sports car, and the passenger with you remarked, "Man, there's another one of those stupid guardrails. And look, another sign saying there's a sharp turn ahead. I hate how the California highway system inhibits your freedom, and tells you what to do." Odds are, you wouldn't let the guy drive your car.

When we hear different moral laws about our sexuality, they are there for the same reason that guardrails and signposts mark a person's drive along the Pacific Coast Highway. If you want to express your freedom as you drive off the cliff, you're free to do so. But the purity of your soul is worth much more than a car. The Church's moral laws are there for our sake, so that we don't fall for counterfeit versions of love.

If you have tried everything else for years, try purity. You won't regret it. I've spoken to over a hundred-thousand teens about dating, sex, and relationships, and I have never met one who regretted what he or she did not do with a date. I've never had a high school girl come up to me in tears after a chastity talk because she did not sleep with her boyfriend. I've never had a guy confide in me that he was scared to death that his girlfriend was not pregnant. They regret what they've done, not what they've saved.

Imagine you were dating a beautiful young woman who you hoped to marry, and she had never kissed anyone because she wanted only her husband to know the touch of her lips. What man would not be flattered by her integrity and purity? What man would send her away to go a little further with the other guys? If we would be so honored by her, why would we not want to make a woman feel honored in the same way?

I want to start over, but I can't give up sex. What should I do to get back on track?

ANSWER from Catholic Answers:

I'd recommend six steps to get back on track:

1. Recognize your mistakes and admit your faults, but don't let yourself get preoccupied with them.
Like everyone else, you are not perfect, so give yourself the freedom to forgive yourself and then decide to overcome your weakness. You have to want healing for yourself.

Recognizing your faults is one side of the coin, but recognizing that you deserve respect is the other.
Many people who have fallen into sexual sins have lost all self-respect.
They feel that there's no point in turning back, but even if they wanted to turn back it would be impossible, and even if it were possible, no one would love them after all they've done.
You do deserve respect, but you have to respect yourself first. When we commit sexual sin, we lose respect for our bodies and for the bodies of others.
When this happens, it becomes easier and easier to fall into unhealthy physical relationships. Only you can choose to break out of this.
It is important that you know from the get-go that the healing process will demand work and sacrifice on your part.

2. Repent. You've realized that you do have a problem, so come to God as his child, asking for his grace.
Ask him to forgive you and heal you, not only of this area of weakness, but also of any other wounds or vulnerabilities, however deep or old they might be, that might have contributed to your problem in this area.
As Jesus said, "apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:5).
You are wholly dependant upon God to get out of this, and he is wholly capable of finishing the good work that he has begun in you.
The Holy Spirit is already alive in you, moving you to recognize your problem and seek a new beginning. God is at work in you; he has not abandoned you.

Come to him in the great sacrament of reconciliation, and experience his mercies. He forgives, heals, restores, and encourages us, but we must come to him with sincere hearts. "A broken, contrite heart, you never scorn" (Ps. 51:19 NJB).

3. Resist the temptation to give in to destructive thinking: "I'm a bad person, I don't deserve real love, and I need sex.
I'm addicted-I can't help myself." None of those things is true!
People tell themselves that they are addicted to things like sex in order to make themselves feel like they don't have any control over their behavior so that they can keep indulging in it.
But it isn't true. You do have control, and you do have dignity.
You are a son or daughter of God. That's your identity-your identity is not as a "bad person." Sure, you've made mistakes.
But don't identify yourself by them.

You are worthy of love, because that is what God has created you for.
When you make mistakes, you do not forfeit your worthiness to receive love.
Also, you do not "need" sex.
Perhaps you have formed an attachment to the pleasure of sex or its emotional intimacy.
Perhaps sex has become for you a way to avoid genuine relationships.
Instead of using sex to express intimacy, you may be using it to escape intimacy. God's grace is stronger than those chains, and he will give you a greater love if you cling to him.
Your desires will not disappear when you come to him, but he will give you his love so that you will be able to overcome the temptations.

4. Refrain from bad relationships, and make a clean break from any unhealthy relationships that you're in now.
These drive you deeper into loneliness.
Sometimes breaking them off is easy.
The hard part is keeping from running back to them.
This is when you must run to God instead.

When we use sex to feel secure, we end up feeling more insecure than ever, and we may be tempted to jump into sexual acts to deal with our fear of not being lovable.
It becomes a vicious cycle.
It is then that you must come back to God with all your heart.
Don't let fear stand in the way, and don't run elsewhere to find the fulfillment and wholeness that only he can give.

5. Resolve to live in purity.
Part of the process is moving away from bad situations, but the other half is moving into good ones.
Make that decision that no one else can make for you.
ou have to want it for yourself, so set your guidelines, write them down before you enter a relationship, and stick by them.

One man said, "After interviewing thousands of young people, I am convinced that many teens and young singles are sexually active not because they really want to be, but because they don't have any deep personal reasons for waiting until they are married.
"I You need a vision of real love, a hope that will make it easier for you to forego the passing traps of lust in favor of a better and more beautiful kind of life and love.
It does exist.
So go for purity, and make a conscious effort to do things differently in the future.

Change the way you approach relationships.
It is a real sign of maturity to seek the advice of older and wiser people, particularly our parents.
Sometimes parents aren't always available, so go to a good priest, youth minister, relative, or other mentor to get their input on your relationships.

Also, look at your selection of friends, music, magazines, movies, and other things that influence you.
See if you can get involved in a local youth group, Bible study, or prayer group at school or church.
This may be stepping out of your usual social circles, but you need that support and fellowship.
As a reminder to yourself and a sign to others of your commitment, go to the mall and buy a ring to wear to symbolize your commitment to chastity.

Also, check out the resources in the back of this book for good reading and web sites.
It's good to read on your own but it is far better to find a good priest or counselor with whom you can speak openly and regularly about your struggles.
A wise counselor will be able to discern the extent of your problem and lead you on the path to purity.

6. Renew yourself through prayer.
It's essential to know that you are deeply loved by God, so set a prayer time for each day.
He will work wonders in you, and he has so much that he is waiting to tell you and so much that he wants to give you.
The best is yet to come (Jeremiah 29:11-14).
If you are serious about wanting true love, a new path awaits, but only you can make that decision to be generous with God.

Premarital Sex

An interesting read I found in regard to the Physiological side of having Sex.
Part of an answer as to why NOT to have Sex.




Everyone talks about how hard it is to say no, but no one tells you how hard it is when you say yes.

In regard to the physiological side of things, it's very dangerous for a young single woman to be sexually active.
Because a teenage girl's reproductive system is still immature, she is much more susceptible to STDs.
In fact, early sexual activity is the number one risk factor for cervical cancer, and the second is multiple sex partners.
A girl's heart, like her body, is not designed to handle multiple sexual partners. Besides making herself vulnerable to STDs, your friend also needs to consider if she is ready to be a mom.
Lastly, consider the fact that the rate of suicide attempts for sexually active girls aged twelve to sixteen is six times higher than the rate for virgins.
Tragically, these girls don't realize the purity and forgiveness that they can find in Christ.

New scientific studies also suggest that if a woman has multiple sexual partners, this will lower her levels of oxytocin which in turn will damage her ability to bond.

Oxytocin is a neuro-peptide most commonly associated with pregnancy and breast-feeding.
It seems to act as a human "superglue," helping a mother bond with her infant.
It is also released during sexual arousal and there, too, seems to work as a "superglue."
Since estrogen enhances the oxytocin response, females are capable of more intense bonding than males, and are more susceptible to the suffering that accompanies broken bonds.

According to an article by Drs. John Diggs and Eric Keroack, "People who have misused their sexual faculty and become bonded to multiple persons will diminish the power of oxytocin to maintain a permanent bond with an individual."

In more basic terms, sharing the gift of sex is like putting a piece of tape on another person's arm.
The first bond is strong, and it hurts to remove it.
Shift the tape to another person's arm and the bond will still work, but it will be easier to remove.
Each time this is done, part of each person remains with the tape.
Soon it is easy to remove because the residue from the various arms interferes with the tape's ability to stick.

The same is true in relationships, where previous sexual experiences interfere with the ability to bond.

But a sexual relationship that is properly bonded from the start, such as that between two virgins on their wedding night, has one advantage among many:
Oxytocin helps to maintain the "high" of sex in a long term relationship.
This does not mean that if a person is not a virgin on the wedding night, he or she will be unable to bond with a spouse.

It simply means that when we follow God's plan, we have the most abundant life possible.